You do not know where your decisions come from. They pop up like hiccups. And when you make a decision, people have a great deal of anxiety about making decisions. Did I think this over long enough? Did I take enough data into consideration?
And if you think it through, you find you never could take enough data into consideration. The data for a decision in any given situation is infinite. So what you do is, you go through the motions of thinking out what you will do about this. But worriers are people who think about all the variables beyond their control about what might happen.
Choice is the act of hesitation that we make before making a decision. It is a mental wobbling. And so we are always in a dither of doubt as to whether we are behaving the right way, doing the right thing and so on and so forth and lack a certain kind of self confidence.
And if you see you lack self confidence, you will make mistakes through sheer fumbling. If you do have self confidence you may carry get away with doing entirely the wrong thing. You have to regard yourself as a cloud in the flesh, because you see clouds never make mistakes.
Did you ever see a cloud that was misshapen? Did you ever see a badly designed wave? No, they always do the right thing. But if you will treat yourself for awhile as a cloud or wave and realize that you can’t make a mistake, whatever you do, cause even if you do something that seems to be totally disastrous, it’ll all come out in the wash somehow or other.
Then through this capacity you will develop a kind of confidence and through confidence you will be able to trust your own intuition. This is the middle way of knowing that it has nothing to do with your decision to do this or not, whether you decide that you can’t make a mistake or whether you don’t decide it, it’s true anyway, that you are like cloud and water.
And through that realization and without over compensating in the other direction, you will come to the point where you begin to be on good terms with your own being and will be able to trust your own brain.
-Alan Watts on choice